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My Mail Box Melt Down

Lauren Grace Living

Archive

My Mail Box Melt Down

I was having one of those overwhelming moments. The ones where you start to think of everything that you have to get done in the next 6 months. All the appointments and commitments, the never ending to-do list, and all the “should” do’s in the back of your mind. Yup, I got caught up in one of those tail spins. I was on my way home from a long day and all these questions started racing through my mind: How am I going to get it all done? Where will I find the time and energy?

I was trying to remain calm and logical, assuring myself that everything always gets done eventually. And I was beginning to feel a little more at ease, that is until I went to go collect my mail. There it was, hidden amongst the junk mail, a notice for Jury Duty!

You’ve got to be kidding me….

But no, it was no joke and I certainly wasn’t laughing. Jury Duty scheduled for smack in the middle of my mid-terms, of course. Well my calm composure went out the window at that point and I lost it. I immediately jumped to the worst case scenario of being stuck on a case for 3 days or longer, missing class, missing clinic, and losing hours of productive time. Thoughts were racing through my head: I’m going to fall way behind now, What if I fail my boards now because I lost all that study time, What if I miss so much class time that it delays my graduation!

Now I realize I was being way overly dramatic and irrational. I knew realistically that all these worst case scenarios weren’t ever going to come to fruition. In fact most likely I would be given an exemption anyway for being a full time graduate student. But I was already caught up in the overwhelm, drowning in negativity, and I couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it.

I stayed in panic mode most of the night, that is until I read an email from my dear friend Karen. She had sent me a passage she had found about the definition of Serenity. I read the first line:

Serenity is a way of life absorbed slowly, and practiced one day at a time.

After reading just the first sentence I could feel a shift in my energy. Here I was completely future tripping, creating a scenario that will most likely never happen. I just needed to slow down and pull myself back into the present moment. Because in the present moment everything really was ok. Yes I’m busy and I have a lot on my plate, but its nothing that I can’t handle.  Let me focus on what needs to happen in this moment and stop creating catastrophe moments in my mind. Let me slow down and take things one step at a time.
The second line read:

Serenity is Perspective.

Yeah lets get a little perspective here. We are talking about Jury Duty, not the end of the world. I realized I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I think there are larger problems in this universe then me maybe having to go to Jury Duty. And if I do end up having to go, I’ll handle it. Even if I do fall a bit behind in school, I’m a smart girl I’ll catch up. I’ve certainly dealt with many more difficult things in my life, I’ll survive. Getting some perspective helped me gain some clarity. Jury Duty is really just a minor inconvenience for me, and it is certainly not worth throwing a temper tantrum over.

Bottom line the situation is out of my control to a certain extent. Yes I can ask for an exemption, but at some point I just have to accept the outcome. And it is a lot easier to accept the outcome from a place of serenity and peace, then to fight it and fret about it.

So thank you to Karen for giving me back my sanity. I am going to save this definition of Serenity and have it on hand for my next melt down moment. Because I have no doubt that there will be another one in the future. I’d like to think that I’ve evolved passed these moments of panic, but I’m not there just yet.

Is there currently a situation in your own life that you are freaking out about? Are you future tripping and creating the worst case scenario? Can you slow down and see this situation for how it really is, not worse then it is? See if you can take a step back and get some perspective. Is it really as bad as your making it out to be? When you can bring yourself back into the present moment and gain some perspective you’ll find that it is much easier to handle whatever it is that’s stressing you out. And you are much more equipped to deal with a situation when you are coming from a place of acceptance and serenity.