Halloween is a favorite amongst holidays in America. And it’s not just for children, adults definitely get into the spirit as well. Why? Because everyone loves to play dress up! It doesn’t matter how old we get, everyone loves to put on a costume and pretend to be someone/something else for a night. Whether you are going for scary, sexy, or funny, we all have different roles that we like to play.

With a costume we can drop our inhibitions without fear of being judged. The reason that 90% of woman’s costumes are rather skimpy is because most woman will jump at a chance to be dressed outrageously sexy for a night without being labeled a slut. When we are wearing a mask we can be and act however we want without fear of showing our true selves. But at the end of the night when the costume, the wigs, the makeup, and the mask all come off, aren’t we just putting on another one?

The truth is we play dress up and wear masks all year round. The only difference with Halloween is that the masks we wear are literal. But we are still putting on a costume every day, it’s just not always obvious to everyone around us. And sometimes we ourselves are even oblivious to the different masks wear. But we all have them, whether we care to admit it or not.

We have our work mask, our school mask, our church mask, our social mask, and even our family mask. If you think about it you are usually not the same person in the office as you are when you get home. Why? Because we have a specific role to play at work and we have a different role to play at home. We are basically changing masks all day long.

I don’t think masks are necessarily a bad thing, sometimes they are a necessity. The over worked single mom needs to leave her business hustle face at work while she puts on her happy play face for her kids when she gets home. Even if all she can really think about is how tired she is and how nice a bubble bath, a glass of wine, and peace and quiet would be. The retail clerk during Christmas time has to keep a smile on her face when around the mobs of customers demanding her attention. When all she really wants is to tell off the next person that gives her a hard time (speaking from personal experience). The waitor that you just yelled at for your well done steak that you ordered medium rare is only pretending to be accommodating and helpful as he graciously takes your food back to the kitchen (meanwhile he is probably spitting in your next order). Sometimes mask can be a good thing. If went around showing our true colors all the time we would most likely be jobless and friendless.

But there are times when masks keep us from being our authentic selves. Sometimes we find ourselves playing a role for so long that we dare not stop out of fear of what others would think of the real us. And sometimes we are so use to wearing so many masks that we aren’t even sure what our authentic self looks and acts like.

I know I’ve put on many masks in my life. I’ve tried to play the party girl role to fit in with the cool crowd. This didn’t really work out for me considering I like to get to bed early and don’t really like feeling like shit the next day. I tried the philosophical artsy mask when I was studying theater in college to try and seem more “deep” with the theater crowd. When in all honesty I preferred reading and discussing the latest issue of US weekly over analyzing another Edward Albee play. And for many years I played the happy girlfriend role, when I knew inside that everything was falling apart (we’ve all done this one).

Lately I find myself playing the I got it all together role. Every day I’ve been putting on the I’m happy, healthy, and positive mask. When those closest to me know that I am overworked, over tired, and burnt out half the time. When you label yourself as a Holistic Practitioner it comes with its own mask to wear. When you teach and promote health and vitality it stands to reason that you should practice what you preach and your image should reflect that. And in all honesty I do practice what I preach, except for the over stressing, over worrying, and over working part. There are many mornings when I do wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed, loving my life and excited for another day! But there are also many mornings where I’ve stayed up too late working and I wake up groggy, sleepy, and grumpy. I do generally have a positive outlook on life but not everyday is rainbows and butterflies. I get scared about my future, I get worried about my finances, and I get bogged down by my work load. But on those days I’ve been afraid to take off my mask, and I’ve tried to keep up the pretense that my life is perfectly balanced and in harmony. I’ve been afraid that people will see me as a fraud and think what business does she have giving health and life advice? The truth is, while I genuinely love my work and really am happy with my life, I still have my days where I just want to stay in bed, watch tv, and shut out the world for a while.

This past weekend I went to a Halloween party with some friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. And even though I was in a costume I decided to take off my “mask” and be authentic.  They are use to seeing the happy positive me, but the truth was I was filling particularly overwhelmed and stressed out this weekend. So as we were all conversing and catching up I decided to be honest and admit that I’ve been feeling pretty run down, that I am stressed about the work ahead of me, and how I could really use a break. I wasn’t being a complete Debbie Downer, I also talked about being excited for the future and knowing that all the hard work will be worth it. I certainly didn’t want to bring down the party vibe, but interestingly enough I found that I was connecting more with people by being authentic and real. I was more relatable speaking my truth instead of trying to come off as Little Miss Sunshine. So I decided to keep my mask off for the night, and I think I am going to leave it off for awhile.

When I look at the people I admire, my teachers and mentors, I realize that I admire them because they are authentic. They speak their truth and are honest about their internal struggles. They have their bad days and off days just like the rest of us. And that’s what makes them relatable and likable.

It takes courage to take off your mask. To be honest and admit that you don’t have it all together, and that you are still learning, trying, and growing. So I guess by writing this and admitting my fears and flaws, I am getting a little braver. And I’d rather be courageous and exposed, then spend my life hiding behind a mask.

What different masks are you wearing in your life? Are you ready to drop the false facade and just be real? You never know, when you drop the disguise you may actually like what you see.