Why does it always take a tragedy to make us realize what really matters in life?

I was born and raised in New Jersey, and lived there until the age of 20 when I moved to New York City. I have a deep love for both these places, they are my home.  Therefore, seeing my home devastated and pretty much under water this past week was particularly heart breaking for me. Made worse by the fact that the majority of my friends and family still live there.

First there was the initial panic of trying to reach all my loved ones to make sure they were ok. Thankfully everyone was in a safe place. Then the sadness and reality hit as I looked at image after image of the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. Seeing places where I had spent my child hood completely destroyed. Seeing my favorite city half underwater. And then the overwhelming feeling of helplessness I felt from being so far away and unable to help.

Of course I’ve been donating what I can to various charities, but it doesn’t feel like enough when I know that so many people have been displaced from their homes and have lost everything. And that millions have spent the week without power and are not only freezing but running out of resources. I felt that there was nothing else I could other then sit in the sadness and pray.

An interesting thing happened to me when this tragedy struck. I suddenly forgot all the stupid bullshit that I’ve been worried about. The endless list of “problems” that I would pray about seemed to magically disappear. They just didn’t matter anymore. And what I realized was that they never really did matter.

Tragedy makes your realize what is fundamentally important in life. And it comes down to just simple basic needs; knowing that you and your loved ones are safe, that you have shelter, and that you have food and water. When one of those needs aren’t met, then you have a real problem. And that is when you realize how inconsequential the small stuff is. From the speeding ticket, to the shoes your can’t afford, to the annoying relatives you have to spend the holidays with, to the bad blind date you just went on, to the 10lbs that you can’t seem to lose, to the enormous school loan you have to pay off, none of it really matters when tragedy strikes. Notice how no one ever seems to sweat the small stuff when they are dealing with a disaster.

Tragedy also makes you grateful. Despite my feelings of sadness this past week, I also felt overwhelmingly grateful for everything I have. I was especially grateful that all my loved ones were safe. But I was also grateful that I have a home with electricity, food in the fridge, running water, and two amazing cats to cuddle with. It’s so easy to take these everyday luxurious for granted like turing on a light switch, or taking a hot shower.

Another powerful lesson that Hurricane Sandy taught me was to appreciate every moment. Living in Florida I am use to all the hurricane warnings, and in all honesty I tend to ignore every single one. I never buy extra water, or canned food, and I couldn’t tell you where the closest shelter is. I’ve always had the attitude of it won’t happen to me. But whoever would have thought that Manhattan would have evacuation zones due to an incoming hurricane?! The truth is you just never ever know. Especially with this new flux of weather patterns we are seeing, we can’t be absolutely sure of anything. Does that mean we live in panic and fear 24/7? Absolutely not! But it does mean that we need to appreciate each and every moment we have. And not to be all Doom and Gloom, but we can really never know when tragedy will strike and how it will effect us.

I have to believe that with every disaster some good comes from it. Maybe the good is seeing the humanity in people as they reach out and help one another. Maybe it’s seeing politicians put their political views aside and come together to work on solutions. And maybe it’s just the simple reminder to stop sweating the small stuff, to be grateful for what you have, and to love and cherish every moment.