Today is my Birthday, I turn 30. This is a day that I thought I would dread, but I am surprisingly relieved and excited! In all honesty I am so over my 20’s, and so ready to transition into a new decade!

For me my 20’s were all about feeling a little lost and confused. I think that probably rings true for everyone. You are trying to figure out who you are, what you want to do, who do you want to be with, what do you want your future to look like, etc.. And it’s a time of trial and error. Speaking for myself I made A LOT of mistakes in my 20’s, I mean A LOT! But that’s what growing up is all about; screwing up, failing, and making poor decisions. Yet it can be a very rewarding time too. Because if you are willing to look at the messes and mistakes you’ll discover some beautiful lessons. And I am so grateful for the many lessons I was given (even the really really crappy ones.)

As I reflect back on the many lessons I learned, I realize that some very profound Truths were formed as a result. I decided to share my top 5 Truths here with you all. Some of these were formed from moments of pure joy and some were formed from moments of gut wrenching sorrow. But no matter how they were realized I truly believe that these are fundamental Universal Truths that will resonate with everyone.

1. Follow Your Intuition: The best decisions I’ve made in my life were completely irrational and risky. They were made from my heart, not my head. It was that little voice, that tugging feeling, that said do this, go here. Listening to that feeling has paid off time and time again. And I am lucky to have a supportive family who went along with all my crazy notions. That constant whisper in my ear that said Move to New York City to study theater, Take this job and move to Florida where I don’t know a soul, Go back to school and become an Acupuncturist. All of these decisions were based purely on intuition, and logic had very little to do with it. And they all also became the most life altering, fulfilling, miraculous experiences. I can’t imagine where I would be in life if I had just listened to my head and took the practical path. And frankly I don’t want to imagine it. Following your intuition is not easy. It means stepping out into the unknown based on a hunch. It means tons of people in your life will disagree with you and try and tell you that you are making a mistake. It means you are going to be scared and have moments of self doubt and confusion. But do it any way. Because one thing I’ve learned for sure is that your intuition will never steer you wrong and it always has your best interest in mind.

2. Forgive Others: Once I really got this concept down my life was changed. Forgiving those who have hurt you is not an easy task. There is a misconception that when you forgive someone, you are letting them off the hook. On the contrary when you forgive another you are freeing yourself from the chains of resentment. The longer that you hold on to anger  towards another, the longer you are tied to them. I read this great quote that said “Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” That was a major Ah-Ha moment for me! Resentment serves no one and only harms you. From studying Chinese Medicine I now know that resentment and anger are one of the major causes of dis-ease in the body. It makes you sick, literally. I can’t describe to you just how freeing forgiveness can be. It will change your life! Now how do you start forgiving? Well I could write a whole  blog on just that, and will! But for now start with the intention to forgive. Make a list of all the people you’ve been holding a resentment towards and just be willing to forgive them. Show up every day consciously willing to forgive and the healing process will begin to unfold.

3. Forgive Yourself: You’ll find that it is a lot easier to forgive other people then it is to forgive yourself. This is a concept I’ve struggled with throughout my 20’s. I’m a perfectionist and my own worst critic. I use to waste so much time berating myself (in my mind) for the poor choices I’ve made. And while I think it’s important to be aware of your mistakes so that you can learn from them, you don’t want to beat yourself up over them. Also the more you hang onto feelings of guilt and self loathing the more you will project that onto others without even realizing it. This is why the play ground bully is always the kid that deep down is the most insecure and hurt. In fact we often look for our own so called “short comings” in others because its easier to point out someone else’s faults then deal with our own. But with self forgiveness comes self acceptance. You’ll find that when you stop judging and berating yourself, you’ll stop judging and berating others too. And bottom line the world doesn’t need more depressed, guilt ridden people right now. What we need is more loving, self accepting people. Those that have enough self love that they are able to share that love with the world. Clinging to old guilt and resentment towards yourself does not serve you and certainly does not serve the world. And self forgiveness needs to be a daily practice. Why? Because we are human, and we are going to make mistakes every day. Which is why I take the time every night to reflect on my day and notice where could I have done more, what could I have done differently, where was I out of line, etc.. I take notice, process what I need to learn, and then I forgive myself and let it go. I’m no longer willing to carry yesterdays guilt into tomorrows possibilities. So do yourself and the world a favor by becoming more forgiving and more self accepting.

4. Take Care of Yourself First: This is a lesson that took me awhile to learn and still trips me up from time to time. Notice that whenever you fly the flight attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask on before assisting others. This is a great reminder that you need to take care of yourself before you take care of others. I use to think that it was selfish to take care of my own needs before dealing with my job, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, etc… It was only when I completely burnt out that I realized I am no help to anyone if I don’t take care of myself. Those working in the healing field need to be particularly careful of this as I discovered. I would get so wrapped up in making sure my patients are well cared for that I neglect my own health. I’ll sleep less, rest less, eat less, and overbook myself so that I am stressed to the max. And when things get to that point, I become an emotional and physical wreck. I’m no help to anyone and I’m certainly not pleasant to be around! But I’ve just recently learned the art of saying “no” and that has changed everything. I’ve now carved out my own personal “me” time and made it a priority. This means I’m saying “no” a lot more. Especially with my schedule as hectic as it is right now, I have to make my own self care a priority. For me this may mean turning down a shift at work just so I can have a day at home to relax. Not taking on any evening clients so I can fit in a nice long sunset run on the beach. And sometimes it even means not going out for a night on the town with my girlfriends so that I can get to bed early and catch up on sleep. Personally I find that the busier I am the more unapologetic I have to be about carving time out for myself. Because the truth is no one wants to work with or hang out with someone that is worn down all the time. And you know that when you are burnt out you aren’t functioning at your greatest capacity, and your probably a little cranky as well. It’s not selfish to take of yourself, it’s a necessity.

5. Mind Your Own Path: When you are turning 30 it’s easy to get lost in the comparison game. I admit I’ve spent many nights aimlessly scrolling Facebook to see whom from my High School class is now married with kids. Now I am happy being single and I don’t even want to have children, so why do I care so much that the majority of fellow thirty year olds are already settled down and starting a family. I’m clearly in the minority and that makes me feel like I should be in a different place in my life. Shouldn’t I be married by now, own a home, be further along in my career…I refer to this as the comparison blues, and  its easy to get caught up in its trap. The only way to pull myself out of this downward spiral of negative thinking is to remind myself that I am exactly where I am suppose to be in life. The truth is we are all traveling on our own path. And your path may look drastically different from your neighbors but it doesn’t mean that you are going the wrong way. Living this Truth requires some faith and understanding. Faith that you are being guided step by step, and understanding that everyones journey is unique. Remember that what other people are doing with their lives is none of your business. It’s a waste of time and energy to focus on being jealous of another’s path. Minding your own path keeps your energy focused on you and your journey. And know that you are exactly where you need to be!

So there you have it, 30 years worth of wisdom summed up in one blog post! Obviously there were many more lessons learned (saving those for my book!) and I’m sure there will be many more lessons to come. I have to give a special thank you to my friends, family, and teachers, that have helped guide me on my path. I’ve been very, very blessed to be surrounded by such supportive and loving people.

Now it’s time that I say good bye 20’s and hello 30’s! I can’t wait to see what this decade has in store for me!