With Thanksgiving coming up many people have gratitude on their mind. For me personally, I am feeling exceptionally grateful this year. As I write this I am flying back from a weekend trip in New York City that I spent with my nearest and dearest.
My amazing parents decided to take me to NYC to celebrate my 30th Birthday. This included staying in a beautiful Hotel, eating at my favorite restaurants, and seeing two Broadway Shows. Obviously I have been blessed with the best parents ever! And to make this trip even better I was able to celebrate with my very best girlfriends.
So as I reflect on this past weekend I am beaming with gratitude. And it’s not just this trip that I am grateful for. As I turned 30 this past week I’ve had time to reflect on this past decade and all the wonderful memories I’ve shared with my loved ones. I’ve been blessed with some incredible friends, had some amazing experiences, and have visited many beautiful places. It is easy for me to look back and be grateful for these blessings. Just like it is easy for me to feel so much gratitude as I’m riding the high of this fantastic weekend getaway. But when it comes to gratitude are you only suppose to be grateful for the good things, or can you be grateful for it all?
Can you be grateful for all the blessings in disguise? Those moments when life was breaking you down, but it brought you to a whole new level of personal growth. Those lessons that you had to learn the hard way. The times where you just wanted to give up or felt helpless. When the going gets tough, can you still hold gratitude in your heart?
It’s easy to be grateful for the nice things in life, but gratitude calls us to find that place of grace in the hard times as well. To have a greater understanding that there is a sense of good that comes form every tragedy, even if you can’t see it at the time.
As I began to reflect back on the challenging times in my life, I realize that there is still so much to be grateful for.
I am grateful that my heart was broken over and over again in the same relationship. Because every time I grew a little stronger and a little wiser. Every time I found more of myself in the tears, and I let my moments of vulnerability open my heart. So yes I am grateful for the nights where I cried myself to sleep, every single one of them. Because without the heartbreak I wouldn’t have grown into the woman I am today. And I certainly wouldn’t have recognized how great my own capacity to love is, and that is a beautiful discovery.
I am grateful that I experienced unbearable headaches that would last for weeks with no relief. This was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my life and it would not let up. But even in the pain I was able to find a sliver of gratitude. I was grateful that I was able to experience serious chronic pain so that I could relate more to my patients. That may sound strange, but as a physician I found it difficult to understand what my patients with chronic pain were going through until I went through it myself. And I was grateful that I was able to develop breathing and meditation techniques to help ease the pain that I can now teach to others that are suffering.
I am grateful that my first career didn’t pan out the way I had hoped it would. I am grateful that I had to spend a year feeling confused and lost trying to figure out what I wanted to do for a living. This wasn’t an easy process. I felt like a failure. I felt guilty for not using my $100,000 education. I felt ashamed that while most of my friends were settling into their careers I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to study. But without that time to reflect and re-evaluate I never would have become an Acupuncturist and I most likely would never have started this blog. If I didn’t reach rock bottom in my first career I never would have discovered the beautiful and exciting field I find myself in today.
I am grateful for the knee injury that kept me from running and spinning for a month. That made me face my inner demons surrounding body image and address my obsessive exercising habits. I am grateful that during this time I learned how to slow down and be gentle with my body. That I discovered Yoga and its amazing physical and emotional effects. During this time I was able to develop a sense of balance and respect for my body and how I treat it. Now I am much more in tuned with listening to my body, knowing when I need a break, and when I can push myself further. And now Yoga has become a staple in my life and I can’t imagine going a week without it.
All of these challenges had a tremendous positive effect on my life. And while it was hard for me to see this in the moment, they truly were gifts. When you are able to shift your perspective on the past events in your life and see them through the eyes of gratitude you will literally change the meaning you gave these experiences. Get grateful and it will shift you from a fearful perspective to one of love. Suddenly the ex that broke your heart becomes your greatest teacher. The physical illness that you suffered made you stronger and more compassionate towards others. The failed career became a stepping stone to discovering your purpose. And the injured knee became a catalyst to develop a deeper and more connected relationship with your body. So while I have so many wonderful happy memories to be grateful for this Thanksgiving, I will also remember to be grateful for all the challenges, disappointments, and set backs.
Now it’s your turn. This Thanksgiving take time to reflect back on your past and see; can you be grateful for it all?