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Be Your Own Valentine

Lauren Grace Living

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Be Your Own Valentine

Lets face it Valentines day is a Hallmark holiday. If you’re in a relationship it’s the day where expectations are high and the pressure is on. And if your single, it’s a day you probably dread and hate. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum and neither is fun. But I do think the essence of Valentines day is really quite lovely. Valentines day should be a day filled with love. Love towards others, and love towards yourself. It should not be about who got the biggest bouquet of flowers in the office.

In the past few years there has been a developing tradition called Self Love Day, which is to be celebrated on February 13th. I love the concept of designating a day to self love awareness. And no, it’s not just a day to be celebrated by bitter single people. For one, I think that self love is something that should be practiced every day, and by everyone. If you are in a relationship and you don’t actually love yourself then you are basically relying on your partner to provide you with all the love you need. Bad idea. That is way too much of a burden to put on one person, and I can guarantee you will never feel loved enough. Yet that’s what so many of us are seeking. We want to have a partner love us enough so that we can feel worthy of loving ourselves. But that’s not how it works. No amount of roses, chocolate, or jewelry will make you feel loved if deep down you don’t love yourself.

So what does self love feel like? Loving and accepting yourself unconditionally, despite all your faults or so called short comings. Knowing that you are perfect just the way you are. Being gentle and forgiving of yourself. Not judging or comparing yourself to others. Being able to celebrate your uniqueness and share your gifts with the world.

Easy right?………

Yeah, not so easy. If you are human, and you have an ego, self love takes a lot of work. You might find moments, hours, or even days of living in this blissful state, but eventually your ego will find something that you did wrong and make you feel like shit again. You’ll start hearing that parade of negative thoughts circle through your head I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve it, somethings wrong with me. Sound familiar?

So how do you go about really loving yourself if your ego is always there ready to bring you down. Well I’m definitely a work in progress in this area, but I find that sometimes it’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, then to think your way into a new way of acting. 

What do I mean by this? Recently I’ve just started doing loving things for myself. Little random acts of love, you could say. Here’s an example of a few that I’ve done this week:

  • Bought myself flowers.
  • Enjoyed a candle light epson salt bath with essential oils.
  • Made myself a delicious chocolate dessert.
  • Splurged and bought myself a gift for Valentines day.
  • Let myself have a lazy morning of lounging in bed and reading a fashion magazine.
  • Took extra time to meditate throughout the day when I was feeling frantic and overwhelmed.
  • Got some Acupuncture.
  • Said No to going out when I knew that I needed time for myself to rest and be alone.
  • Took myself on a sunset walk on the beach.
You see acts of self love don’t have to be complicated. It’s just doing something that makes you feel good. I think the key here is consistency. That means doing something loving for yourself everyday. Carving out that time for yourself no matter how busy you are. What begins to happen is that when you consciously practice acts of self love your thoughts toward yourself become more loving. You might actually feel guilty and selfish at first for taking the time out for yourself, but eventually your mind will relax into it (trust me I’ve been there). And overtime you’ll start to feel worthy and deserving of these moments of self love, and you will begin to perceive yourself differently.
So here’s the deal. You can stand in front of your mirror and recite affirmations all day long about how much you love yourself and that you are deserving, or you could just start treating yourself like you are loved and worthy.
I challenge you this Valentines week to make a list of at least 10 little acts of self love that you can practice. Whether you are in a relationship or you are single, take the time to do this. And then show up everyday to do something nice for yourself. Even if you don’t believe you deserve anything nice, in fact especially if you don’t think you deserve anything nice. Keep showing up, be willing to love yourself, and your mind and your heart will begin to change.
Feel free to share one way that you are going to practice self love this week in the comments below!