Tomorrow I am leaving for a weeks long vacation to Maine. It will be my first real vacation in years. A time to relax in nature, sleep in, spend time with family, and unplug from the digital world. This is a time that my mind and body so desperately need, yet I find myself anxious over the thought of doing nothing for a week.

I don’t remember the last time I was truly able to relax for an extended period of time. And there is part of me that is worried about what will happen if I step out of my life for a week. Will my business fall apart? Will I lose that drive while I’m away? Will I become slothful and lazy? Will I lose twitter followers? (ok I’m not really worried about that last one). But I have been going at such a fast pace for so long that I am worried that I will lose momentum by taking a break. I question whether I will be able to jump back into the fast paced life I’ve built for myself when I return.

Now I understand that this all sounds ridiculous. And the fact that I am having anxiety over relaxing means that I really need to relax! So how do I get my mind to stop racing and ease into vacation mode so that I can truly get the rejuvenation I need?

For one I’ve been telling myself that you’ll never get it all done. For the past week I’ve slept an average of 4-5 hours trying to cross items off my never ending to-do list before I head off on vacation. And I am now realizing that the list I gave myself would be impossible to complete even if I stayed up 24/7. Some things are just going to not get done, and thats ok. Cause you know what, I’ll never get it all done because there is always more to do. I had this vision of getting my life completely organized before I went away. To establish systems and routines for myself so that I could return from vacation and start fresh into my neatly organized life. But that’s not going to happen. My life is messy and chaotic right now. And you know what it’s going to be messy and chaotic when I return. I’ve been holding onto this belief that I can’t relax until I get my life together. But I think it’s time to let that belief go. I deserve a vacation, even if I’m leaving things messy and undone.

I am also willing to buy into the theory that by giving myself a break I will actually be more productive and focused when I return home. There are countless studies to back up this concept. Periods of rest are essential to keep us sharp and on top of things. In fact it can be argued that part of our societies health crisis is due to the fact that we work too much and rest too little. Now this is still just a theory for me, as I’ve never actually given myself permission to try it out. I will take a day off here and there, or spend a few hours at the beach. But it’s been ages since I took a full week to do nothing. So here we go, I am willing to experiment and try this concept out. I’ll report back with my findings next week.

Now saying that I am doing nothing for a week,  is not  a true statement. I am going to be making tons of memories with my family. And really isn’t that what life’s really about? Making memories, laughter, enjoying each others company. It might not be an item that I can check off on a to-do list. And I might not be doing activities that I can track on a spread sheet. But when you look back on your life no one remembers the day that they crossed every item off their to-do list. And no one keeps a photo album full of spreadsheets that track their progress. But we do keep memories. In fact we treasure them. It’s time I made more memories and less “progress.” It’s time that I left things undone. And it’s time that I give myself permission to relax.