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The Truth About Love

Lauren Grace Living

Archive

The Truth About Love

Dear Human,

You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you will return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story.Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And you do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s plenty. 

                                                                         – Courtney A. Walsh

Did you just exhale a sigh of relief? I know I did when I first read this quote.

After the endless search for “perfect” love. The fear of opening my heart again after it had been broken countless times. Thinking everyone around me was in the perfect happy relationship. That I’m somehow flawed, that I just can’t get it right.  And that even when I do think I got it right, I do something to mess it all up. Can you relate?

I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to love. I’ve been used, I’ve used others, I’ve been hurt, I’ve hurt others, I’ve shut down, become cynical and fiercely independent. I’ve also been swept off my feet, fallen head over heels, taken huge risks, and loved until it hurt. I have rode the crazy roller coaster of love and have hung on for dear life despite all its highs and lows.

But at some point I got tired of that ride. I craved a love that was stable and safe. One that wouldn’t jerk my heart around so much. I wanted something easy. The only problem with that, is that it doesn’t exist.

Love is messy, bottom line. 

What if we all just accepted that? What if we could see all of our failed love stories from the past as just a great adventure. Maybe then we could stop blaming our ex. Maybe then we could stop blaming ourselves for our past “mistakes.” We could realize that love is all just a big experiment. That we are all just doing our best, and that our best is enough.

If you’ve been hurt before, chances are you’ll be hurt again. That’s the risk you take when you open your heart to love. But isn’t the risk worth it? Isn’t it worth putting up with lows so that you can enjoy the highs? I think so.

I’ve recently reframed my perception of love. I look at it as an epic adventure! One which will challenge me at times, but one that will thrill me as well. There is no playing it safe. And that applies whether you are single or in a relationship.

If you are single start to view your dating life as a fun experiment. Full of ridiculous stories that you know you’ll laugh about someday.  And in between relationships make sure to relish your alone time, you’ll miss it one day. Learn how to fall in love with your own life before you fall in love with someone else.

For those of you in a relationship learn to embrace the messiness of it all. You’ll have good days, you’ll have bad days. You’ll fight, it’s inevitable. Fighting isn’t always a negative, it means that there is passion there. Learn to appreciate your partner, focus on their good qualities. And take the time to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place.

When it comes to love, whether you are single or in a relationship, we all need to lighten up a bit! Go forward with a playful attitude about love. Have fun with it. Laugh at how ridiculous it can be sometimes. Make mistakes, forgive yourself, and then make more mistakes. And keep your heart open, even when it gets messy.