Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that. But I also believe that sometimes we get so obsessed in trying to figure out what that reason is that we spend more time analyzing our life than living our life.

When I first became enamored by the world of self improvement I spent years discovering why I am the way I am. Why I react a certain way. What my limiting beliefs are. How my past was affecting my present and future. Essentially I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

Now there is nothing wrong with self discovery, analyzing your past, and trying to better yourself. Therapy, counseling, and coaching are all great tools to help you move past trauma’s and unhealthy behaviors. I think everyone would benefit from working with someone one on one to help create a happier and more content life.

Where this can be detrimental is when “self improvement” becomes a crutch that holds you back from actually living. You won’t start dating until you fully understand your relationship mistakes from the past, forgiven everyone involved, and learn to love yourself unconditionally.  When you screw up you spend a good week beating yourself up, and then spend another month analyzing your past trying to figure out why you did what you did. You let fear of repeating the past keep you from taking risks in the future. You order a new self growth book from amazon every week, and then stay home all weekend reading it instead of going out with your friends (I’m guilty of this one). When something goes wrong in your life you immediately start trying to figure out why in hopes that you will get a glimpse at the bigger picture.

Here’s the deal: You’re human. You have a past and it’s probably messy, just like everyone else’s. You are going to get triggered and over react. You will make mistakes, maybe even the same one 10 times over. Things may go tragically wrong in the world and you may never discover the reason why no matter how hard you try. And there is no perfect formula for living a happy fulfilled life no matter how many self help books you read.

Stop trying to figure it all out and start living!

Speaking from 12 plus years of being a self proclaimed growth junkie, I spent more time home alone trying to figure myself out than I did going out and gaining life experience. It’s only been this past year where I realized that I needed to start living and stop analyzing. I still spend plenty of time in the self growth world. I have a coach, I read books, I take courses. I’m always interested in becoming a better version of myself. The difference now is that I am not trying to figure it all out. I don’t care to analyze my past to death. I forgive myself when I screw up. I know everything happens for a reason, but I don’t always go searching for that reason. I no longer use self improvement as an excuse not to go out and live. I would rather be out in the world experiencing life in all my imperfection. And yes, I might still make a lot of mistakes, but I also make a lot more memories.

Going forward spend a little less time thinking and analyzing and more time doing and feeling. Live from your heart, not your head. Remember that there is nothing wrong with you! We are all just human, and we are all just doing the best that we can. Let that be enough.