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Archive – Page 13

Lauren Grace Living

Archive

The Latest Syndrome: Fear of Missing Out

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Have you ever come down with a case of F.O.M.O? Otherwise known as Fear of missing out. I use to laugh at this new trendy condition that seemed to be going around. I thought really? Who actually suffers from F.O.M.O.? I never took this made up condition seriously, that is until it hit me.

Yup I just suffered from my first case of F.O.M.O. I came down with typical symptoms of anxiety, inability to make decisions, over analyzing like crazy, and lying awake at night. So what exactly is F.O.M.O, and how do you get it? Fear of missing out occurs when you feel as though if you don’t say yes to every opportunity or invitation that comes your way that you are some how “missing out” on something really good and impact-full on your life. For instance a group of friends invites you out on a friday night. You may be feeling a bit tired and was actually planning on staying in. But when you are given this invitation you suddenly become torn. If you stay in will you miss out on a really good time? Will your friends bond without you? Or are your friends going to be mad if you don’t join them? All these thoughts are swirling through your head causing you anxiety and confusion. You finally work yourself up into such an anxious state that you decide you have to go out whether you really want to or not, for fear of what of you could be missing if you stayed in.

F.O.M.O. can occur in a variety of situations. It could be an opportunity to travel that was suddenly presented to you. Or perhaps a seminar/ class to attend. It even occurs online in the form of coaching and programs. Today more then ever we are bombarded with the latest online course or program that you must sign up for within the next 72 hours if you want to increase your abundance, enhance your relationships, lose weight, etc…..(I could go on and on and on, but you get the picture). It occurs when someone presents an opportunity to you that you weren’t necessarily looking for, but now that you are aware of it you feel like you need it. All of this causes F.O.M.O.

While I was in graduate school I was so busy that I never experienced this syndrome. I never had extra time on my hands to go out with friends, attend a seminar, or sign up for a course. So whenever I was presented with an opportunity it was easy for me to say no. But since I have finished school and I am running my own business I find myself with a lot more time on my hands. I control my own schedule now so technically I can go out whenever I want, travel, or devote some time to a course. So now I find myself having to consider every opportunity that comes my way, and I discovered that F.O.M.O. is no joke! It causes some serious anxiety!

Most recently I was presented with an opportunity to go on a trip with some friends. Now this trip would be a lot of fun no doubt. I would make some really wonderful memories, but it also would cost me quite a bit of money. While trying to make this decision I found myself bouncing back and forth between two different forms of anxiety. On one hand spending the money on this trip gave me a great amount of anxiety, but the thought of not going on this trip produced some major anxiety too in the form of F.O.M.O. For three weeks I agonized over this decision. I knew that I didn’t really have the money to go, but the thought of missing out on what a good time I might have was torturing me. I literarily felt sick to my stomach over it and lost sleep. I got to the point of wishing that I had never even heard about this trip to begin with. I was becoming so exhausted just thinking about it. In the end I decided not to spend the money and not go on the trip. I felt better having actually made the decision, but that sense of F.O.M.O. was still lingering.

I knew that I had to come to peace with my decision and get over my case of F.O.M.O. I realized that what was bothering me was that I was making this decision too big and too important. I had this belief that going or not going on this trip would somehow alter my life. And then I came across one of my favorite quotes “You are exactly where you are suppose to be.” This immediately made me relax and reminded me that whatever I decided was the right choice because it’s my life. The Universe is self correcting and self guiding. If there was something that I was suppose to experience on that trip the Universe would find away for me to experience it in another way. The same goes for anything else I’ve been debating in my head. From that online course, to that seminar, to a night out with friends. Tony Robbins says that no decision should be made out of fear. I would expand that to no decision should be made because of the fear of missing out.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t go out of your comfort zone at times and say yes to opportunities that scare you. But if we said yes to every opportunity that comes our way we would most likely be out every night, away every weekend, broke, tired, and living an extremely unbalanced life. And the stress that is produced by F.O.M.O. can really damage your health. I witnessed first hand how my body reacted to the anxiety I was putting it under. My skin started breaking out, I was getting daily headaches, I felt nauseous, and extremely fatigued. All of that suffering over one little decision!

The next time you are trying to make a decision ask yourself if F.O.M.O. is a factor at all. And then ask yourself if this is a life or death decision. Most likely the answer is going to be no. And before you say yes to something purely out of fear of missing out, remind yourself that there will always be other opportunities. There will be more parties to go to, more trips to take, and more opportunities to learn. Remember that whatever you decide is going to be perfect for you are exactly where you need to be. And if you still find yourself struggling to make a decision take the advice of Marie Forleo who says, “If it isn’t a hell yes, it’s a hell no.” That simple phrase could have saved me weeks of agonizing and I never would have come down with a case of F.O.M.O. to begin with. So remember if you or someone you know is suffering from a case of  fear of missing out, there is help.

 

Story of a Lifetime

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When I was younger I use to love to read biographies from old hollywood celebrities like Cary Grant, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, etc… Their lives were filled with engaging stories about the movie business and drama filled personal lives. Not every ending was a happy one that’s for sure, but their lives were far from boring. I always found these books much more intriguing than whatever was on the required summer reading list at school. And to this day I still gravitate towards non-fiction books, finding real life stories way more interesting then any fiction fantasy.

Recently I began to wonder what it would be like to write my own story at the end of my life. I love the idea of leaving behind an autobiography for other generations to read well after I’m gone. But then this raises the question, who would want to read it? Is my story interesting enough to write a whole book about?

If you were to write the story of your life would you want to read it? Would it be filled with fun antidotes, pearls of wisdom, epic love, and triumph over challenges? Is the story of your life engaging enough to make you want to turn to the next page?

Asking myself this question has made me realize that I could definitely spice up my life a bit more. Like spending more time out with friends and family instead of just communicating with them through facebook. Taking more risks when it comes to my love  life, which means being more vulnerable and open. Not letting time or money be the biggest influencers in decisions I make, and to start making choices from my heart. To stop living in fear of challenges and set backs, knowing that they make my story all that more engaging.

If I was going to share my life story with the world I would start living more fearlessly, worry less, travel more, laugh more, take more risks, and spend more time away from the computer. I would disconnect from technology and reconnect with people. Cause lets face it who wants to read a story about someone who spent the majority of their day surfing the web. I would let myself experience feelings like heart break and failure, and give myself permission to make more mistakes. Because the best stories always contain some sort of hardship, the lessons learns, and the resulting triumph. And most of all I would say yes more to all the things I really want to do, and no more to the things that I do out of obligation.

So if you were to write the story of your life from where you are now would anyone want to read it? Is it full of engaging experiences? Or is your story up to this point kinda dull and boring. Well here is your opportunity to change it. What do you want your story to be about? What do you want to share with others? It’s your story and you are creating it day be day, make it epic!

Two Things You Can Stop Stressing About ASAP

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There are a lot of things to stress about in life. Finances, relationships, health, time, family, etc… Depending on what’s going on in your life I am sure you could list 100 more things, I know I could. But here are two things you can stop getting stressed about immediately: the Weather, and Traffic.

The weather and traffic are two things that you pretty much have no control over. Yet we complain about it all the time! Do you notice how the weather and traffic are frequently the topic of conversation in small talk. Apparently it’s the only relatable factor that people can connect on (I say that with a sarcastic undertone). We spend a lot of our energy bitching about these two topics even though there is nothing we can do about them. Seems like a lot of wasted negative energy doesn’t it?

Here is the the thing about stress. We know from both an Eastern and Western medical perspective that stress plays a huge role on our health. I would argue that stress is the leading cause of all disease. And even though we are living in a time of more conveniences then we’ve ever experienced before, we are also more stressed out then ever before. With the rising of the technology age we have seen a rise in depression, ADD, and Adrenal Fatigue as well. Our bodies and minds are over stimulated enough, and the last thing we need to do is stress about something that we have no control over.

This past week it rained every day all day. Living in Florida I have been spoiled with beautiful sunshiny days. However, during hurricane season it’s common to have these rainy weeks where there is no going to the beach, flooded roads, and extra frizzy hair. In the past I would have bitched and complained about the weather, but this time I didn’t let it get me down. In fact I even went running in the pouring rain and liked it. I stopped stressing about it and just accepted it. When I accepted it I was also able to see the good in it. For one I am a lot more productive when it’s raining cause I am not tempted to run to the beach whenever the sun is out. It was also a great time to do some shopping or go out to restaurants because everything was empty. I ended up loving the rainy week and not feeling stressed about it all. This got me thinking of how I could apply this same method to traffic. I am normally the biggest complainer when it comes to traffic (particularly when it comes to Florida drivers). I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t gotten annoyed while driving. And it is so ridiculously pointless! I’ve wasted so much energy getting upset over traffic and what for? Did I get to where I was going any faster? Of course not. But I continually let myself get worked up over it anyway. Bottom line when it comes to weather and traffic it is what it is.

“When I argue with reality I lose….but only 100% of the time.” ~Byron Katie

That quote says it all. Arguing with reality is a losing game. All the bitching in the world isn’t going to make the sun come out or make the car in front of you move any faster. Today while I was driving and got stuck behind a slow poke I asked myself is this worth getting stressed about? I decided it wasn’t and just turned up the stereo and enjoyed the CD I was listening to. So maybe I got to where I wanted to go 5 minutes later then normal, but at least I was in a good mood when I got there.

I know that this might be easier said then done so set yourself up for a success. Take time right now to think of all the things you like about rainy or snowy days. If you are planning for an outdoor activity have an indoor back up plan that you’ll be just as happy with. When you are driving have your car stocked with your favorite cd’s or audio books. If you get in a real jam take that time to catch up with a friend on your cell (practice smart phone safety please, no texting or checking email). Or maybe just take that time to get quiet and practice some deep breathing. One thing I’ve started to do is to make the effort to leave 5 minutes earlier. This way I don’t feel the stress of being late and the pressure to rush while driving. Am I perfect at this yet? Far from it! But I am getting there.

Now you don’t have to get to a place where you are pretending to be happy about the crappy weather or traffic jam. You just need to get to a neutral place. When you accept it and recognize that there is nothing you can do to change it you will bring yourself to a more relaxed placed. Like I said before there are a lot of things in life to be stressed about. But being stressed about what you can’t control is not only a waste of energy, but is damaging to your body. Every time you let yourself get to a stressed state your body starts pumping out cortisol (the stress hormone). And while cortisol has it’s purpose in the body it is way overused right now and can lead to anxiety, insomnia, depression, fatigue, and heart disease. Are you ever going to eliminate stress from your life? No. But at least you can decide what you choose to stress about. Go ahead and stress about things you can do something about, whether it relates to your business, family, relationships, etc…But if there is nothing you can do about it, leave it be, and don’t waste your precious energy. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Pick Your Vice

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It’s been about 2 weeks since I finished my 21 day detox, and I am still slowly introducing foods that I had cut out. In fact I still haven’t had any dairy, soy, or gluten, and nor have I craved it. It’s interesting how a cleanse will reset your cravings. I barely have a sweet tooth anymore and have no desire to eat bread. The only thing I am really craving are lots of veggies, fresh fruit, and green juice. So my diet has remained relatively the same with 2 exceptions; I reintroduced coffee and chocolate ASAP!

Now during my detox I felt fine without coffee and chocolate, so you might be wondering why would I introduce it back in. I still had tons of energy without my daily caffeine boost and my sugar cravings diminished pretty quickly. So I didn’t miss the actual substance itself, but what I was missing was the ritual or experience that those substances gave me. I realized that having a cup of coffee in the mornings isn’t so much about the energy it might produce, but it’s the fact that I really enjoy the ritual of drinking it. I love the smell of coffee, and I love my leisurely breakfasts where I slowly drink from my favorite mug. I simply love my morning routine, it really helps me prepare for my day, and without the coffee it’s just not the same. My daily piece of dark chocolate at night isn’t about satisfying a sweet tooth, it’s about giving me a pleasurable experience. I love to buy really good chocolate so eating it feels like a luxury to me. It’s become my evening reward to myself. Simply stated coffee and chocolate make me happy.

Are they healthy? Eh, they’re certainly not the worst things you could consume, but I wouldn’t exactly label them as healthy either. But the fact that they put me in a happy state is healthy. I am all about eating clean and choosing healthy foods, but if your uber healthy diet is making you feel deprived and miserable then it’s actually not that healthy for you. Your level of happiness has a far more greater impact on your health then your diet ever will. 

Bold statement I know (pun intended). But it’s true. Science has proven that happy people live longer healthier lives. Now I am not saying that we should rely on food for our happiness. But we can’t deny that one gets a lot of pleasure from eating a good meal, or having a decadent dessert. Food plays a huge role in our life. I’ve been on the opposite end of the spectrum. In the past I had kept such a strict diet that I would turn down plans with friends to go out for dinner, be the only one at the party not noshing, pass on dessert when I wanted it so very badly. And let me tell you that it was a miserable way to live. The constant denial of pleasure leaked into every area of my life. The only satisfaction I got was from my own pride in being so disciplined and being able to fit into size 0 jeans. But I paid the price of missing out on what would have been a lot of great memories.

You might be reading this thinking Great, ice cream makes me happy, I’ll have it every night! Hold up a second! Please don’t think I am supporting overindulgence! The key to enjoying your vice is moderation. If you are really addicted to your vice then it’s not a healthy thing for you. Your vice of choice should be something that gives you pleasure, but one that you can live without if you had to. Maybe for you it’s a glass of red wine in the evening, or using heavy cream and real sugar in your coffee. If your vice is ice cream and pizza then let yourself indulge once a week, but I wouldn’t make that one a daily ritual. Keep your vice within reason. For example I have one cup of coffee and one piece of good dark chocolate (ok sometimes I have two pieces of chocolate). But I would never drink the whole pot or eat an entire candy bar. I also balance out these little indulgences with a really healthy diet. To help reduce the acidity of the coffee I make myself a green juice. And after eating a plate full of veggies that little piece of chocolate isn’t going to have much of an effect. A good rule of thumb is to have 90% of your diet consist of healthy foods, and leave 10% for your vice of choice. And if you happen to go out to eat once a week and enjoy a really rich meal don’t worry about it. As long as you enjoyed the meal and don’t make it a nightly ritual your body will balance it out.

Living a healthy lifestyle shouldn’t feel miserable or like constant deprivation. It is possible to design a healthy diet for yourself and still enjoy a little daily indulgence. So go ahead and pick your vice, enjoy it, keep it within reason, and relish in your healthier and  happier life.

Insights From a 21 Day Mind Body Detox

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I just finished a 21 day mind body detox. I include the “mind” here because any time you are doing a detox the mind is going to get involved. Just as you are cleansing toxins from your body when you are detoxing, you are also cleansing negative thinking and old patterns from your mind. And let me tell you the physical part of this detox wasn’t so bad, it was the mental aspect that had me trippen!

The lay out of the detox was pretty simple, no supplements or powdered drinks, just changing my diet. The first week I cut out all gluten, soy, dairy, animal products, coffee, alcohol, and sugar. The second week I cut out all grains and just ate raw veggies, fruits, nuts, and sprouted beans. The third week was a juice cleanse, which consisted of freshly juiced fruits, veggies, and some coconut water. Simple and easy right?

Well it started out easy. The first week was really no big deal. It wasn’t that drastically different from the diet that I was already eating. I did miss my morning caffeine rush a bit and my after dinner piece of chocolate, but I could handle the cravings pretty easily. I was even able to go out and socialize without my cleanse bringing me down. Being the only one at a party not drinking or eating felt a little weird at first, but I still had a great time and was proud of myself for having the willpower to not give in. Major take away from this week; I don’t need to drink and eat junk to connect with others and have a good time. Does this mean I am going to give up my martini’s? No. But it does mean that when I have a busy week of socializing I can easily pass on the booze.

Week 2 was starting to get a little harder. This time I had to give up my yummy bowl of oatmeal in the morning and swapped it out for a green smoothie. Now the smoothie was delicious don’t get me wrong, but I noticed that it threw off my whole morning routine. I’m very habitual for the most part, especially my mornings, and when I alter my routine I start to feel really unfocused and off balance. I found that without my normal breakfast I got lazy and unstructured. It took me longer to get going in the morning, and I felt a little lost, like I didn’t know what I should focus on first. The majority of those mornings were totally unproductive and kinda frustrating. Now this makes no sense what so ever. Why would changing one meal change my entire morning? I don’t really have an explanation for this. Reflecting back now I can see  that I have been in the same routine for so long that changing just one aspect of it throws my brain off track. My big take away from this week; if changing just one part of my routine can throw me off so much, then I need to start introducing more variety to my life. Now I am working on finding a healthier balance to my structure and routine and learning how to switch it up every now and then.

Week 3 was a doozy! In fact I’ll be honest I wasn’t able to stick with it through the whole week. Juice cleanse’s have gotten so popular these days it seems like everyone I know has done at least one. I thought this would be easy for me, after all I’m pretty disciplined. But it was hell! The first 3 days I was absolutely miserable. I was starving and when I’m hungry I get angry (or hangry as I like to call it). And this is where the mental detox really started to kick in. So many emotions came to the surface I was an absolute mess the first day. I would go from frustrated and pissed off to crying in a matter of minutes. And forget about getting work done! I was so unfocused and scattered I couldn’t do anything productive. Which of course made me anxious (cause I got a lot of shit to do), and then angry at myself for not being able to handle this cleanse better. Where was that juice cleanse high that everyone was talking about? At some point during that day I did actually have a moment of clarity and insightfulness. I realized that I was thinking too far ahead into the future (which I do all the time). I was so focused on having to do this for 7 days that it was throwing me into panic mode. But when I stopped and just brought myself back into the present moment it wasn’t so bad. I said to myself, “Forget about the 7 days Lauren, can you just get through the rest of today?” For  that moment I felt a sense of peace. Yes, I could make it through today. Forget about tomorrow, and just take it one day at a time. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed about the future when you start thinking about all the things you have to do over the next few weeks. But if you just bring yourself back into the present moment and ask yourself, what can I do today? What can I do today to move closer to my goal, or what can I do to be my best self today? It’s a simple shift, but it made a huge difference for me.

Day 2 I gave up on trying to do anything productive and just went to the beach and to the movies. I found this day to be a lot more manageable and almost enjoyable. Getting out of my house and doing some fun activities really distracted from the hunger. And it also reminded me that I don’t do that enough. Taking the whole day off for me is almost unheard of. I always seem to have so much on my plate that it feels like if I take some time off I will fall way behind. But the thing that I realized that day was that I was not in the state of mind to do anything productive. I could have stayed home and tried to get some work done, but I bet I would have been unsuccessful. And we all have days like that even if it’s not coming from a juice cleanse haze. Why not give ourselves the break if we know we aren’t going to get much done anyway. Chances are you’ll come back rejuvenated and motivated to dive into some work again. Day 2 lesson learned and noted; take more time off.

Day 3 I expected to wake up feeling really good and not hungry. Everyone says it gets easier and I was counting on this being the day. But I was still really freaking hungry. I felt defeated that day and discouraged. I just wanted to give up which made me feel like a failure. I had to come to terms that maybe I wasn’t going to make it through the whole week. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this. There was a lot of guilt coming up for me around the thought of giving up and giving in. I spent some time meditating and realized that I needed to just forgive myself and cultivate some compassion towards myself as well. Sometimes you just have to give it your best shot in life and be ok with not succeeding. I had to accept where I was at. I just wan’t willing to commit to a whole week of torture, I wasn’t strong enough, and thats ok. I went to bed that night feeling peaceful and loving towards myself knowing that I tried and trying was enough. My plan was to break my fast the following morning.

Wouldn’t you know it that day 4 I woke up not hungry at all. In fact I felt fantastic! This was the juice cleanse high that everyone was talking about! So even though I planned on breaking my fast that morning I decided I would stick with it for another day. I felt energized and amazing all day. Day 5 I still felt good but I decided that it was time to start introducing some food back into my diet. I didn’t need to break the fast then but I was ready to. I was ready to return to some sort of normalcy in my life. And to be honest I was tired of dropping fifty bucks every day at Whole Foods on produce. The next few days was a mixture of juicing and eating small amounts of fruit and veggies. The funny thing was I found that I had no cravings. I thought the minute that I got a chance to eat again I would want to pig out, but I didn’t. I learned to really listen to my body over those last few days. There were times were all it wanted was a juice, and other times just nibbling on a few strawberries were enough. I didn’t follow specific meal times or a certain protocol. I just listened to what my body was telling me. Since then I’ve found that it is much easier to tune in and listen to what my body really wants and ignore the cravings that go on in my head.

So now I am back to my normal diet and I feel great! I’m still eating really clean cause I’m just not craving all the other junk right now and I want to continue to feel good. But I’m sure before the week is out I’ll have a piece of chocolate or two. I also feel a lot less stressed, even though the week ahead of me is extremely busy. I find myself just going with the flow and being more present. I’m taking breaks when I need them, which helps me to be more focused when I am working. Overall I think this detox was so good for not only my body but my mind as well. No it definitely wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. In fact I am actually looking forward to doing another one this fall! I know that the insights I gained will have a major influence on how I live my life, not to mention my body is feeling better then it has in a long time. I’m looking forward to what I’ll discover the next time around.

Have you done a detox before? Would love to hear any insights you might have learned from your experience. Please feel free to share in the comments.

How Proactive Are You?

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We often do less than we should, until we are forced to do all that we can. Sometimes we don’t take care of our bodies until there is a health scare, or take care of our finances until we are in the red. Worse yet, sometimes we don’t take care of each other until it is too late. Proactive nurture and care can circumvent those moments of drought in our lives, paving the way for greener pastures in our future. ~Yehuda Berg

How true is that?!

I see this all the time working in the health and wellness industry. We don’t want to eat healthy until we are diagnosed with diabetes. We don’t want to work out until bikini season roles around. We don’t want to meditate until we are faced with tragedy and are desperately seeking some answers and peace.

Of course these statements are generalized and certainly do not pertain to everyone. But I think you’d agree that in general our culture is not proactive about our well being. We tend to push our bodies pass their limit until they start to break down. And then we run to the doctor hoping that he can give us some pill that will make us feel better in 24-48 hours.

Many people do not know this but one of the founding principles of acupuncture and Chinese medicine was the concept of preventative care. You paid the doctor to keep you healthy with regular acupuncture treatments and herbs, and if you got sick the doctor would treat you for free. The doctor could treat illness, but his main focus was to keep you well.

This is a concept that seems to be somewhat lost in our modern society. Even though we have more knowledge and recourses to keep us healthy then we ever have before. Think about it, thanks to the internet we can get a variety of health question answered in 1.2 seconds. There are billions of healthy recipes and guides on good nutrition. Tons of free exercises and workouts through youtube. And thanks to amazon you can have virtually any book shipped to you in 2 days. Not to mention most modern towns contain everything you need to stay healthy. In my town alone you can find an acupuncturist and a chiropractor on every corner, 5 organic grocers plus 3 farmers markets, and a gym every mile. If you want to be healthy you have all the resources and support you need, no excuses.

But why is is that the majority of us are not more proactive when it comes to our health? Why is it that we wait until it’s too late even though we have all the resources we need? Maybe it’s because most people believe it will be too hard to change. They associate getting healthy with hours at the gym and eating nothing but bowls of lettuce. That’s obviously a gross exaggeration, but that’s the type of  picture people create in their head when they don’t want to do something. Blow it out of proportion and make it seem 10 times more extreme then it is. Living a healthy lifestyle might seem too costly to some. And not going to lie, it can be. But I guarantee it will save you a lot of money later on in life on doctors appointments and medications. Many also think that their health is the responsibility of their doctors and not their own. They won’t change their lifestyle until their doctor tells them they have to. Newsflash, your health is in your own hands, no one else’s.

It’s time to start taking responsibility, time to be proactive when it comes to your health, and time to start valuing preventive care.

When someone comes to see me for acupuncture I always emphasize the importance of maintenance treatments. Once we’ve treated the main condition I always advise patients to come back once a month for a tune up. Your monthly tune up is preventative care, helping to keep your body in check. It’s also a way of valuing your health and respecting your body. You’re feeling good so you are going to keep getting acupuncture so that you continue to feel good. And it’s the same principle for all other forms of preventative care. Eating healthy is preventative care. Exercise is preventative care. And learning ways to reduce your stress are forms of preventative care.

So my challenge to you this week is to take an honest look at your health. Are you ignoring it? Neglecting it? And just take one proactive step. It could just be going for a long walk. Maybe try adding in some more vegetables to your dinner. Or even just sit in silence for 5 minutes and do some deep breathing. Once you take one proactive step it will be a lot easier to take another. And if you are already living a healthy lifestyle, awesome keep it up! Maybe you can inspire someone else in your life to do the same.